Monday, October 8, 2007

My MamaJo

-Has protested that I never say anything flattering about her on my blog. Thus, I present to you:

A Tribute to My Mamelah

She is an old goat who missed the boat. No wait, that's what my grandfather says. Let me start over-

She complains about getting fat because, nearing sixty, she is tipping the scales at 108. That's right folks, one hundred eight pounds. Feel free to roll your eyes. I, however, have inherited those genes, so I will refrain from rolling mine. She has super sexy legs but she doesn't think so, so she doesn't wear short skirts. Everyone who sees the picture I have of her holding [tiny] me 32 & 9/10 years ago says I look just like her.

When my sisters and I were little she would sew or otherwise create wonderful things from scratch to entertain us. A few examples: hobby horses with broomstick bodies, a puppet theater that hung on a tension rod in a doorway, the greatest dress-up trunk ever- with tons of gaudy old gowns, sequined shoes, and feather boas that she'd hunted down at thrift shops.

She used to be a super crunchy health nut mom. She makes the best whole wheat bread ever. At five I did not appreciate this. I would have happily traded my right arm (or my little sister) for a slice of Wonder Bread or a piece of candy. I have come to appreciate her bread. I do also eat candy frequently though.

She is a great hugger even though she does not believe in hugging trees. Trees get lonely too, Mom.

She hates to cook but she has made dinner most nights for the last 38 years and for many of those years it was dinner for nine.

She is a good wife to my dad, a good mother to her kids, and a good friend to her friends.

She puts up with me even though I do things like this to her all the time:

Setting: Peeyerpants mountain Rd (so christened by Libby), 2007 Doscher reunion.

Scene: (since the video refuses to load) After roughly 7 hours on the road, Dad is attempting to keep up with my speeding uncle while driving a 12 passenger van around hairpin curves on a 2-way road wide enough for one car. My mom and sister are hyperventilating in the back. I am tormenting them trying to reassure them by injecting the moment with humor.

Jess: It's the road of... despaiiiirr!! Aiiihh, we're all going to die!

Mom: *nervously* Jess, we don't need any.. extra sound effects

J: Mom, we wanna record this for posterity. It'll be like the little black box on the airplanes

*the slightly hysterical laughter that occurs in a sudden release of tension, from other occupants of van*

J: They can dig it out of the wreckage

M: *somewhere between laughing and shrieking in fear* Those sounds that you [are making] are already.. going on in my head!!!

J: Mwah hah hah!

Wednesday, October 3, 2007

Don'tThink

Jenn at Serving the Queens is putting together a card for the family of her brother-in-law, whose nephew was killed on active duty in Afghanistan. Please go and lend your support by leaving a comment for the family of Staff Sgt. Matthew Blaskowski

Tuesday, October 2, 2007

Klutz

I managed to trip coming off of a stepladder last night and land directly on my good knee. So now I have a matched pair. I am so graceful.

Monday, October 1, 2007

Conversation with a three-year-old

Me- seriously, using my years of accumulated nanny wisdom: When I tell you that it's time to get in the car you need to listen to me.


Little Boy- giggling: Noooo, I just say "NO!" and run away!

Me: Well, if you do, I might have to put you in time out when we get home.

LB- still giggling: Nooooo, you won't! I'll just say "NO!!" and run away!!!!

Me- exasperatedly: Well then I'll have to sit on you.

LB: Okay!

Me: *sigh* You win.

That's what they mean by "babysitting," right? Right???

It's a good thing he's cute enough to get away with it.

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