Part one is here
Part two is here
Two days ago, Joanne Lambdon* called my mother, frantic, begging for prayer for her grandson, Aiden, who was being worked on by paramedics. Visiting friends with an inground pool; he'd somehow wandered outside by himself, while everyone was in the house, and fallen into the deep end. His mother, noticing his absence, found him and quickly pulled him out and started CPR, but it was too late. He was already gone.
*name changed to protect family's privacy
Aiden's safe, now, and in the arms of One who loves him, but his absence will leave a hole in his family that will never fully heal. And right now, I cannot even imagine the depth of the grief and despair that has invaded the lives of these people that I love.
This is what requires faith for me, trusting that God has a plan and that this- even this -will be redeemed one day. Not while we live on this earth, surely, but someday. He promised.
But how do you balance that promise of what's to come with the reality of having to let go of the child you brought into the world?
How do you adjust to life without your beloved brother, nephew, grandson?
How do you base the rest of your life on a faint glimpse of hope that one day, Paul's assurance that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us will be proven true.
Even if you can reconcile yourself to that future hope, how do you go on living this life, torn between the children remaining, and the world they inhabit, and the one who's gone ahead, and the promise of a world where he is restored?
I don't have any answers, and my heart is broken.