Translation: Dear Mom, Please cancel my subscription to Guidepost immediately. I am shocked and dismayed to see that they are printing articles about saving the environment. Obviously the offices have been taken over by commie pinko leftist liberals- please excuse my French.
As a good Republican I know that anything that includes the words "green" or "planet" must be liberal tripe designed to warp the very fabric of the universe.
Sincerely,or rather, Cerely,
My mom gets me a subscription every year to the Christian magazine, Guideposts. They're all about the Power of Positive Thinking at Guideposts and they also favor miraculous events. She claims it's because I used to steal hers before she got a chance to read it every month when I was a kid, but I think she's really hoping that it might influence me for the better now that I live in the land of godless heathens (California). I came across something Dad would definitely NOT approve of in one issue (because, global warming-a huge conspiracy!! According to my dad, no sane person would be tempted to believe in such an outlandish idea, besides, Rush Limbaugh says it's not true, and in my parents' house, Rush's word is law.) and I felt the need to alert her of the danger. She loves it when I do that.