Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Dear Readers, Please Leave a Comment Or I Will Slit My Wrists With This Potato Chip and Come Back to Haunt You For ALL Eternity

Cause, I know you're there. A faithful handful of you and a random assortment of people who googled "Weather this week in RI" and were unfortunate lucky enough to get sent here. I see you on Sitemeter. But Lisa and BHJ are the only ones who ever comment. Okay, not entirely true, but I'm too lazy to list all of the semi-regular or one-time commenters even though I'm complaining that no one ever comments and they're going to get mad at me and leave comments like: You suck! I commented last Thursday on that weird post that didn't make any sense and I never even got the five dollars you promised me!

Regardless, "You suck!" comments are better than no reaction at all so please send me some comment-y love so I don't have to cry myself to sleep again tonight thinking that no one loves me and everybody hates me and I should eat worms for breakfast.

Here, I'll give you an assignment in case you don't know what to say, [Duh- "Jess, you're awesome please don't stop and I want to give you a book contract right this second."] Leave a comment telling me where you are (unless you are maintaining an aura of mystery and don't want people to know in which case I will be sure not to look at Sitemeter and check), and uhh... I dunno, what brought you here. I really need you to do this because I already ate the potato chip.
Thank you.


[Hey, Ol' Blog Buddy, how's that for soulless whoring?]


16 comments:

COMomma said...

Colorado.

A former college roommate (who has created a new generation of dirty-sock-strewers) who spends too much time on the internet reading blogs and NOT commenting. Isn't that called lurking or something?

MW said...

If I usually read from within my precious Google Reader than do I really show up on your sitemeter? Hmmmm...

Anonymous said...

I enjoy your post Jess, I am so shy, that i normally leave no comment, but here goes "You rock Jess" The guy from southwest Okedoke (the reluctant east coast guy)

jess said...

Becky!!! Yes, it is called lurking and I do a fair amount of it myself. Nevertheless it's totally different when YOU are doing it MY blog. :)

M, that's what I ask myself.. I get a fair amount of referrals from readers but I'm not sure if it's only the people who actually click over here.

Oke, I swear I'm going to write the story about the time you spilled ginger ale on me when there was turbulence on a Southwest flight. Soon!

I appreciate all of your loyal readership. And I'd like to thank my agent and all the little people who helped me to get here today. Thanks for your L & S. *sniff*

yumbrad said...

Jess, you're awesome please don't stop and I want to give you a book contract right this second.

rudecactus said...

I'm here! I'm here! No potato chip violence please.

Sarah said...

You suck! I commented last Thursday on that weird post that didn't make any sense and I never even got the five dollars you promised me!

Wait...no...sorry. I meant to say: I read your posts semi-faithfully and I am growing concerned. That's the second time you have used the word "whore" on your blog.

The soap is in the mail, potty-mouth. You know what to do.

l i s a said...

i suppose i don't have to comment because i got listed in the star student category. but i wanted to say that i'm reading your blog from MA! and i'll be in RI on monday just for the day. too bad you won't be there. haven't read the martha letter yet but looking forward to it.

Anonymous said...

Hi Jess,
I love you and your blog is superfantabulas and oh so funny.
lib

Amanda said...

Hello, Jessica! Sorry for not commenting enough. Because you, of course, leave gazillions of comments on MY blog, which is no where near as funny & witty as yours. I really should return the favor. So here you go.

xoxox
Amanda

jess said...

Manda- I try to follow your blog, man, but the fact that I can't use a feed reader (all hail Google reader) make me forget all the time. I'll leave a comment right now!

Amanda said...

You're the best. I am feeling the love! :)

And yes, I'm pretty sure Maddie & Eli are as tall if not taller than you now. :)

Katie said...

Jess, I am totally commenting on your blog for the first time. Like, woah. I have to sleep now because I want to go to the library in the morning, but you should know I took time out of my busy sleeping schedule to leave this comment. Because you're my clone from the future. I mean, favorite sister.

Marly said...

Hi Jess! I'm in my big comfy chair. And I found you because you were thoughtful enough to leave a comment for me... once. ;)

Mandy Q. said...

Hi, this is my first time reading your blog and I'm from Oregon...hopefully you don't say it wrong like most east coasters. :)

Anyway, I'm not quite sure who I found you through...I was blog hopping and stumbled across you from a comment you left on a blog I do read.

Your blog is quite entertaining though. Keep it up! And even if I don't comment all the time, it doesn't mean I don't read it, it just means that I don't always have something witty to say!

Mandy Q. said...

Also--

I was happy to see that this is only blog to date that you've tagged "manipulative suicide threats". Otherwise...I would probably be a little worried.

:) And thanks for visiting my blog!

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