Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Fear Poop Mongers

Apparently there is a market for sketchy colon cleansing products. I don't know if there is such a thing as a non-sketchy colon cleansing product, but I'm going to assume that any company that sends out a brochure with actual descriptions and pictures of poo is not quite on the up and up.

So I was at my parents' house with my sister Lib today, and I noticed a flashy font on the top of the mail pile with questions in large print like:

Death Begins in the Colon!!


Years of Dried Poo living in your intestines!!

It was, as you can imagine, immediately necessary for me to pick up and read aloud the more interesting parts of this urgent announcement to my assembled family. They love that I keep them updated on medical breakthroughs like this.

In between gasps of laughter, we ascertained that not a single one of us has a healthy intestine, based on the fact that, according to the colonic people- there is only one right kind of poo.

I know you're asking yourself right now. What kind of poo is that, Jessica? But I can't tell you, because this is a family blog. I think. Also, I've probably already offended most of my loyal readers who have left in disgust. But the fact is that I've spent most of my adult life as a nanny dealing with other peoples' poo (pee, snot, vomit, etc), and I just feel that it's fair that some of you should also get to experience a world in which one can have an entire discussion about the contents of a diaper.



Sus said...

I am not fully grasping this idea of "only one right kind of poo." Could you send pictures please?

Jocelyn said...

I feel pretty firmly that anything that genuinely needs to exit a colon,


it DOES.