Friday, January 2, 2009

Missed Connection: Nice man on bicycle

Dear Man-on-a-bike @ Matilda & El Camino,

I am so sorry I didn't see you right away when you decided to cross four lanes of traffic at night wearing dark clothing and with nary a light nor a reflector on your person (unless... maybe you had a reflector in your pocket? They don't work as well that way. Hey- is that a reflector in your pocket or are you just happy to see me? Ha!). I completely agree that your nearly invisible arm signaling your left-turn-intentions should have caught my eye, even though you were cutting sharply across two lanes and nowhere in my line of vision until you tried to cross in front of my car. I guess I need to look into getting glasses. Or night-vision goggles. 

I'm also sorry that I slowed to let you go ahead when I did realize you were there, instead of running you down. It seemed like the right thing to do at the time but I am a woman and we get confused easily while operating motor vehicles. Of course now I realize why you were angry when I didn't run you over. No doubt you needed the insurance money and a new bike. My bad. 

Thank you for being so understanding and kind in the face of my utter ineptitude as a driver. I couldn't quite make out what you were yelling but I think it sounded like, "Good luck, you lovely woman!" Or, "You punkin' pie, you are just as cute as could be!" "Or something about not getting stuck? "You have a lot of pluck!"? "I like to eat duck!"? I dunno, I'm sure it was kind and complimentary though.

Anyway, I just want to thank you for making my night even better. I thought, when my boyfriend ditched me for the umpteenth time to hang out with people he likes better, that things were going swimmingly, but you topped the cake, my friend. Even french fries (the food of despair) and Settlers of Cataan couldn't live up to the joy you brought into my life. Peace be with you, man-on-a-bike. Next time we meet, I will not be so rude and I will run you over, I promise. Now take that reflector out of your pocket and staple it to the back of your damn head.

2 comments:

Sarah said...

LOLOL

Christy said...

Well written, friend. You have this great ability to write a hilarious post instead of "freaking idiot on a bike nearly hit my car..." which is so less entertaining.

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