Saturday, June 6, 2009

An Epistolary Exchange

Dear "Twenties" group consisting of several twenty-somethings and a bunch of old people one of whom may or may not be the author of this blog,

It has just come to my attention that I failed to provide you with some important information regarding fundraising for our Uganda trip. The checks for our Uganda trip are not tax deductable. This is because we are paying [the NGO in question] for goods and services for our trip, and because our trip is not 75% or more a service trip. The latter enables us to spend time learning about poverty (home visits, etc.) and the work that [the NGO] does. We will be doing some service projects and spending a lot of time with kids, etc. If this poses a problem for you, please let me know, and I will make it right.

In His Grace,

Avery "Once you pop, you can't stop" Pringle*


*name changed to protect Pringle's anonymity

Dear Miz Pringle,

I personally am incensed about the failure of my large check to be deductible from the taxes I don't pay seeing as how I don't always exactly report my earnings. Death to the tyrannical government!!!... As I was saying. I would appreciate it immensely if you tore my giant contributatory check into tiny tiny shreds and then put it through the dishwasher before returning it to me in an unlined A6 envelope with a liberty bell stamp and a return address label that has cute puppies on it. If you do not currently possess cute puppy address labels consider contacting the ASPCA and indicating that you may at one point have a desire to contribute to the care and feeding of underloved animals. You will shortly be overwhelmed with free address labels featuring an assortment of cute fluffy creatures and can select an appropriately puppy-ish one to adorn the unlined A6 Envelope containing my returned check remains.

Waxily,
J. Davers

[Actually I contributed ten dollars. In cash.]


3 comments:

l i s a said...

good thing you didn't waste your life savings on a donation that you can't use to get a tax deduction. that's the only reason to give that i can think of.

(or wait--was $10 your life savings?)

Jen said...

Lisa made me snort.

jess said...

Don't sell me short, Clark. I gots 35 bucks in the bank as I type.

So no, Miss Smarty Pants, $10 is not my life savings. It's only a THIRD of my life savings. And no, I can't imagine anyone giving money to starving children in Uganda if they weren't getting a tax break. Especially here in the Bay area, poverty stricken as it is...

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