I'm still sad. I still cry a lot, frequently in unexpected and embarrassing situations. I'm kind of a bummer to be around at the moment, but luckily my friends still put up with me. Zach's a pretty awesome brother to have around. I've decided that- should ever have any desire to date again- future suitors will have to get the Zach seal of approval. I should listen to him more often.
I'm volunteering with the jr. high group at my church. Today was my first day. It was kinda terrifying. I felt a little like I was in jr. high again only this time I was taller (that is to say, there are a few 6th graders there who are still shorter than me). I can't wait for the first time a parent mistakes me for one of the kids.
My most faithful blog reader and dear friend Lisa is coming to visit this week. I plan to reminisce about how she used to have to lock herself in her bedroom as soon as she got home from work when we were roommates to prevent me from attacking her with a verbal torrent of, "OHMYGOSHIHAVEN'TSEENANOTHERGROWNUPALLDAYLETSTALKANDTALKANDTALK!!!!!!!"
I plan to threaten her with the sleeping in the loft of death (tm) if she gets out of hand, but as I remember, she's pretty well behaved. Seriously, Lisa, if you still have an internet connection: I can't wait to see you!!!
I'm going home for Christmas, which will be good. Thanksgiving, I wish I could just skip, but I'm thinking about working for extra money (I know, who hires a nanny on Thanksgiving, right? But according to the accursed nanny agency there's good money to be made. Only in Silicon Valley, friends). It's not that I don't have kind friends who've invited me to their Thanksgiving celebrations, I just don't know if I can deal with celebrations.
I'm reading a long biography of the James family. Plus finishing up rereading the Narnia chronicles. I feel an urgent need to get to the library today before it closes because I only have one book left to read!!! Clearly this is an emergency.
So that's it. I'm trying not to get sucked under. I'm trying to remember that I don't have the right to give up hope. I'm trying to believe that all things work together for the good of those who love Him. And I'm telling myself that just because I'm in the same place I was at the beginning of this year doesn't mean that I'm doomed to keep repeating my own damned history. Sometimes that's easier to believe than others.