Wednesday, March 17, 2010

My One and Only Naughty Video (so far)

I'm reposting this because it's just too cute not to, Watch it, I tell you! Watch it AGAIN!!! not because I am to lazy to write a new post or finish one of the quintyjillion half-finished posts that languish in my Blogger files.

So... yeah. Also, a new Bailey story: She says "Evaaarrr" when she's mad at you. It sems to be some sort of two year old shorthand for, "I am never ever going to speak to you again!" but she says it with such intense disdain she she doesn't even need the other nine words. When I was on the phone with my sister the other day, Lib sighed, "Bailey evared the saleslady in the store today. She's so fresh. Luckily the woman didn't know she was being insulted and thought it was cute."

I predict that evar has become a new verb in my family that will far outlast B's terrible(ly cute) two's.

Oh, hey, and check it out. Lib''s started her own blog!

My niece, Bailey, took me to task when I was visiting for being "Naughny" I like to call this the naughty video. Like, "Hey everybody, have I showed you my naughty video yet?" But that's just because I'm immature.

Friday, March 12, 2010

Rivaling Tina Fey For My Role Model: Sarah Haskins

I like to think I'm making someone's boring work day more interesting.

Dear Anthem Blue Cross,

I'm sorry to tell you this in such an impersonal way, but... I'm leaving you. I've been secretly talking to Blue Shield for behind your back for weeks now and we've decided to make it official.  I'm sorry. Raising your rates to over $300 a month for my individual policy just put too much pressure on an already strained relationship and I can't take it anymore. 

Please cancel my policy # XDL 555555555 as of yesterday. Or possible even the day before. Definitely before March 1st. And I know I'm telling you this after March 1st, but honestly? If you ever called or wrote you'd have figured out before this that our relationship was on shaky ground. Don't try to lay your communication issues on me.

We had a good run. I hope you find someone new to gouge, I mean serve, before national health care puts you out of business. 


Jessica Davenport

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Best Comment Ever

The award goes to Katie, my matching bookend from the other side of the Davenport bookshelf.

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Rantelly Rantingness!!

I have 'et some caffeine. To help me deal with the Worst Diaper Blowout Ever tm.

Peoplez, there was poop everywhere (don't worry, I will tell you all about it in detail later. I know you are dying to hear). So now I am awake. At 2. When I have to be at work at 8 to face the possibility of yet another WDBE tm I find it worrying when a parent greets my tale of poopy mayhem with a nod and a knowing expression that says, "Ordinary day for the new nanny, then."*

Wait, I was saying something... Oh YES, CAFFEINE!!! Am now awake 12 hours later because caffeine does that to be but only sometimes not on a regular enough basis that I become convinced I should not take it to help me get through the rest of the day with small squirmy cute but poopy baby. And sleepless nights are great for ranting and raving, I find. After all if I'm up, and annoyed about it, I might as well direct it somewhere useful, right? So mosey on over here and weigh in on my heretical views about singleness and Christians, eh?

*To clarify: I am working a temporary job this week and next, still looking for something more permanent.