Arrrrr, I Be One Day Too Late for National Talk Like a Pirate Day

Hey, remember that one time I wrote about the Pirate Treasure Hunt and said that if I could find my camera charger I'd take pictures of it and show them to you? Guess what?! I founded it! Eight or so months ago at the beginning of the year. It was, um, in a random location on the grounds of our apartment complex. Apparently it had fallen out of the camera bag when we took a scenic family photo by the little bridge... in October. But it still works! And anyway we have two now because of course as predicted we found it three days after giving up and ordering a replacement. So... yeah.

But back to my point, which was... Pirates!!! Here's the tutorial on how to out together a really awesome treasure hunt that your kids will figure out in 1/100 of the time that you spent on making it, and enjoy almost half as much as you and you ostensibly adult spouse/partner do.

1st: Git yourself some pirate treasure. Good places to find it: thrift stores, flea markets, your old jewelry box, grandma's coin collection, bubblegum machines (only the kinds with cheesy rings, not gum- gum is NOT authentic pirate treasure), etc.

2nd: Draw an approximate map of your house or the area in which the hunt will take place. Be pirately sneaky but specific (example: "The gally, whar ye cooks yer food" = the kitchen). Be sure to write in painstakingly pirate-like script. Remember if you do not stay up until 3 am and  give yourself a headache squinting at the fountain pen by candlelight, UR DOIN' IT WRONG. Or you may just be more sane than we are. Probably the latter. If you can work in awesome details like the fact that the antique steamer trunk you use for a coffee table is actually a genuine, "old sea chest," even better.

3rd: Write the first clue leading to the second clue. Rhyming is optional.

 [A picture of Daphne as a baby wearing a snowflake costume. Next clue was behind the frame.]

4th: Write a bunch of other clues blah blah blah.

This was a Christmas card- from my lovely friend Bry, who the kids adore (featuring Santa) that had been residing magnetically on the front of the fridge. Inside was the next clue.]

 Um, Captain Obvious: inside of the hallway closet.

It's a mirror! Get it?! "look unto thine selves," "further reflection?!?" C'mon guys!

Behind the (now sadly departed) sea monkeys' tank.

Big red book: Dictionary

Aaaand then a hint to look up "pirate" which led to the map.

Make sure you not only find parchment-like paper, but crumple it, soak it in water and painstakingly singe the edges with a lighter in order to make it look authentically ancient. This is best done in the wee hours of the morning, in desperate haste, frantically preparing so everything will be ready by the time the kids wake up. You're welcome.