Tuesday, March 13, 2012

We're Doing WHAT On April 7th!!?!?

Oh Em Gee, you guys. I'm getting married. That's right, I have finally tricked Todd into promising to love and obey me forever!!! Todd says that's not the way the traditional wording goes but I'm pretty sure it is.

At first it was all: We'll go to the county clerk's office. Your mom can come, and my brother can come, and maybe we'll go out to eat afterwards. But the kids would have been devastated to miss out on the chance to be FLOWERGIRL and RINGBEAR so the plans kept expanding a little bit at a time (yes that's right, it's all for the kids, totally for the kids). Suddenly I am planning a backyard wedding with a few family members and close friends and I don't even know what the frack I'm going to wear.

Everyone says, "Oh, the wedding is eating your life? It was supposed to be small? That's how it always goes, suckah!" Except they don't say the last word out loud, only silently to themselves. So far extreme wedding frazzlement has gotten me out of:

1. forgetting to pay the rent.
2. Skipping my volunteer days at the kids' school.
3. Working the school book fair (that was a special exception, we found out that a certain someone is trying to prevent the kids from being at the wedding with us and I had a small teeny tiny nervous breakdown. I'm much better now).
4. Cleaning the kitchen (this one is still a projection, I'm banking on Todd doing it tonight if I whine and complain enough about how sick I am* and how much I have to do).
5. Exercising (again a future hope rather than a reality. Todd has turned into a drill sergeant).

*Cuz yes, what I needed was a blurry head cold featuring a nasty cough and a constant severe headache to help me plan the wedding. Thanks, body!

So where were we? Wedding, court, (oh yes, did I mention we're in the middle of a custody case? The fun never ends!) and trying to figure out what our next move is as Todd figures out whether he wants to get a job or go back to school (answer: play video games), all before May!! And also there's no money. For the wedding. Because of the no jobs thing. So I am planning on a paper bag themed wedding. Because they're free. Seriously, it will be awesome. Eat your heart out Pinterest.

The sad part is that I have roughly 8 million friends in the bay area but we can't invite more than a few people. Also my parents aren't coming because they don't love me (kidding, M &D!!!). Actually they're planning on hosting a reception for us in Ye Olde New England sometime this summer. Let me sum things up: Things are crazy, as usual. Things are wonderful, as usual. Todd is trying to convince me that we need more babies after I up and decided we don't. I am steadfast. But oooohhhhhhh, baaayyyyyybeeeessss!!!!! Who wants a wittle chubby cheeked baby? So cute and squishy and munchable and baby heads to sniff and baby toes to nibble and baby cheeks to nom on... Crap, I'm toast.